fukudome

as most of you know, i've been a die-hard chicago cubs fan all my life, so, of course, i keep track of what they're up to during the off-season. last winter the organization made a big splash with the acquisitions of all-star alfonso soriano, and pitchers ted lilly and jason marquis; they also began the process of retooling the management by hiring legendary manager lou piniella, a process that will continue this season as the ownership changes hands from the tribune co. to the highest bidder. the spending spree of last year's off-season propelled the cubs to a division title and a select status as one of the only clubs in history to go literally from last place in one season to first in the next. this off-season, while not as financially taxing as the last, is starting to pick up steam. at the winter meetings last week, cubs made very little noise with a minor trade involving the atlanta braves for a top relief prospect in jose ascanio, but the buzz among many of the representatives there was whether or not the japanese native kosuke fukudome would leave japan to become the next big-time mlb transplant (following the like of hideki matsui and ichiro suzuki, players to whom fukudome has been likened). just two days ago his agent announced that he would play in the majors, and just last night cubs report that he has agreed to a four year 48 million dollar contract with the cubs, giving them them left-handed hitting power right fielder they sorely needed. you can check out the full story and all of fukudome's stats from his nine year career in japan at cubs.com.

webb (part 2)

i posted not long ago on a musician named derek webb and how one of the songs on his latest album "the ringing bell" impacted me, and two nights ago journey, the college ministry i lead worship for, was able to persuade derek to use one of his days off from touring to join us in worship. his show was amazing. he just brought his twelve-string taylor and his voice and blew us all away. his heart for the world and his views on living a life of discipleship are the kinds of things this world needs to hear more of.

a funny side note: katie and i have decided to use another one of his songs from the new album called "i want to marry you all over again" as the recessional for our wedding coming up in march. our reason behind choosing this catchy tune is a line from the first verse that says, "i want to marry you all over again, i want to meet you and i want to be friends, i want to chase you all the way to tennessee..." as katie more or less chased me here to tennessee we thought it would be fitting. well, before derek's show at journey the other night, the college pastor was having dinner with him and told him about our story; during his first set he decided to dedicate that song to us and played it for everyone...it was hilarious, and now that song will be forever embedded into katie's and my anthology of memorable songs from our relationship.

home again

so here's what's up:

my wonderful fiance katie brannan has now arrived in tennessee where i have been living and working by myself for the past three months. i am overjoyed to have the love of my life actually back in my life once again. here's a time-line of events for the past seven months that we've been apart.

march 20th(ish) - katie leaves iowa city to begin her internship with musicworx music therapy company in san diego, ca.

april 1st - katie's internship in cal. begins.

may 15th - i graduate from the university of iowa.

may 20th(ish) - katie visits iowa city for the weekend.

june 25th - i interview in bristol, tn for a resident director position at king college and am offered the job after the interview process.

july 1st - katie becomes a senior intern at musicworx.

july 13th - i fly to san diego to visit katie and propose engagement that night on the beach!

july 16th - our one year dating anniversary.

july 26th - i move to bristol, tn. to start my job with king college.

sept. 30th - katie finishes her internship in san diego and drives back to iowa city to spend three weeks planning our wedding, visiting friends, and packing.

oct. 20th - katie arrives in bristol!!

it's been quite a ride these past seven months. God has brought both of us a long way, but the whirlwind is far from over: katie is now starting the process of starting her own music therapy business while working part-time in the area. i will continue working at king and pursing college students through music ministry, and both of us will continue praying for God's direction as we transition to marriage and to our eventual move overseas to become missionaries. thank you to all of you who have been praying for us during this time apart; your prayers and considerations have meant the world to both of us. i'll continue to keep you all updated.

osteen

i just watched joel osteen (pastor of lakewood church in houston, tx.) give an interview with byron pitts of 60 minutes, and while i was all prepared to get on my soapbox about how his ministry only presents the "happy" side of christianity while leaving out all substance, i'd rather not spew out any more rhetoric than this controversy (as i see it) is due. plenty of theologians and professors have been well obliged to challenge mr. osteen's ministry, but the name of that ministry's game is prosperity, not challenge. so i leave it to you to form your own opinion. below is a clip from osteen's interview, and directly underneath is a bit of a message john piper gave on the "prosperity gospel." both men claim to be engaged in God's global purposes: osteen through his television broadcasts, personified by his massive rotating globe, and piper through his missions mobilization efforts. see what you think and post a comment; it would make an interesting discussion.

nigeria

this is a report from christian solidarity worldwide of an ongoing occurrence in nigera; the latest happening just two weeks ago. please pray for these families and that God would heal this broken country.

Dear Friends,

We are asking for urgent prayer for Christians in northern and central Nigeria.

Over the weekend at least nine Christians were killed, churches were set on fire and businesses and homes owned by non-Muslims were destroyed by Muslim youths in the Tundun Wada area of Kano State following unspecified allegations that Christians had blasphemed the prophet Mohammed.

According to Christian sources on the ground, not a single Christian church, house or business has been left undamaged. Furthermore, an unknown number of people were injured and/or displaced during the violence. In a worrying development, the Christian Association of Nigeria (CAN) has received reports indicating that in an attempt to disguise the true extent of the violence and injuries the authorities in Tundun Wada have evacuated Christians and other non-Muslims from the area into neighboring Bauchi State, where victims are said to be receiving shelter and treatment.

Confusion surrounds the reason for this violence. One theory, which has been discredited, is that an unidentified Christian cut out a cartoon of Mohammed and pasted it on the wall of a mosque. However neither the mosque nor the picture has been located.

According to another story, members of Nigeria’s Youth Corps assigned to the area had held a prayer meeting in a classroom and left the name of Jesus on a blackboard, thereby occasioning offense. However, this incident is said to have occurred two weeks ago, and is therefore also unlikely to have been the trigger for the recent violence.

Yet another report contends that tensions have been rising throughout northern and central Nigeria following stories of the publication on the internet of a new cartoon depicting the prophet Mohammed. This may refer to a publication in a Bangladeshi newspaper that was meant to caricature some of the nation’s cultural traditions, but was deemed by some to be offensive to Islam, and led to the jailing of the young cartoonist.

The final report contends that violence erupted and spiraled when students from a local Islamic school rampaged after mistakenly assuming that a serious disagreement between students from a nearby secondary school was religious in nature.

Kano is a notoriously volatile state where regular bouts of anti-Christian violence have usually resulted in massacres. According to the Kano Chapter of CAN, over 2000 non-Muslims died during the last bout of violence, which occurred in 2004, and prior to the current violence Muslims in the Kurna area of Kano were initially reported to have threatened a similar rampage once the month of Ramadan comes to an end on 12 October.

Speaking on behalf of the Christian community following the violence, CAN National Secretary Eng. Samuel Salifu said: “We are pleading for the government to step in. I am directly telling President Yar’Adua because this may be a very good litmus test for his administration”. The government responded positively by announcing plans for a national religious conference to address the problem of religious violence in the country.

Tensions also continue in the Gwoza area of Borno State in the north east of Nigeria where Christians are once again facing imminent violence from the Al Sunna Wal Jamma group. Also known as the “Taliban”, remaining members of Al Sunna Wal Jamma fled into the Cameroon hills in 2004 after a resounding defeat by the Nigerian Armed Forces. Recent events indicate either that it has regrouped, or that it has been reformed by people sympathetic to its aims and objectives.

Please pray

• For an end to the tension and violence;
• For God to protect Christians in both Kano State and Borno State and comfort and provide for those who have lost loved ones, livelihood and property during the recent violence;
• That God would prevent any attempts by the ‘Taliban’ or their supporters to regroup or to harm Christians in any way;
• That state authorities in northern and central Nigeria would act decisively to forestall any further violence, ensure adequate protection for Christian areas and bring those responsible for religious violence to justice;
• Praising God for the initial response of the new federal government to the violence in Kano, and praying this translates into effective action to end the cycle of religious violence and discrimination in northern and central Nigeria.

Thank you for standing in prayer with Christians in Nigeria.

for more information, visit christian solidarity worldwide.

right

sometimes God chooses to reveal to you things you never knew before, but at other times He allows forgotten realizations to return from a dark memory often clouded by the unimportant and mundane. it could be from a certain conversation, a few lines from a film, or, as it was for me tonight, from a book and a new song. however one's memory is sparked, it is always simply wonderful to return to a state of mind you had lost and to recall a notion that once made you happy.

it is often times a struggle to live a christian life in a world that is so obviously broken; it is even harder still to lose sight of one's christian purpose because of that brokenness, for when all one sees are the things which are wrong, one can hardly be assured of the right that is to come. a track on derek webb's new album entitled "this too shall be made right," webb puts his own spin on ecclesiastes 3 (as the byrds did some 40 years ago with their hit "turn turn turn"). in its original, solomon writes, "there is an appointed time for everything. and there is a time for every event under heaven." i highlight "under heaven" because the writer goes on to list the contrastive elements of life as a part of this creation: birth and death; killing and healing; love and hate; war and peace, etc. it is reality from a christian perspective (and perhaps from a secular one as well, though i would not feel confident enough to comment) that things in this world just aren't as they should be, and webb translates this sad state for this generation with his lyrics. here's the transcript of the song:

people love you the most for the things you hate
and hate you for loving the things that you cannot keep straight
people judge you on a curve
and tell you you’re getting what you deserve
this too shall be made right

children cannot learn when children cannot eat
stack them like lumber when children cannot sleep
children dream of wishing wells
whose waters quench all the fires of Hell
this too shall be made right

the earth and the sky and the sea are all holding their breath
wars and abuses have nature groaning with death
we say we’re just trying to stay alive
but it looks so much more like a way to die
this too shall be made right

there’s a time for peace and there is a time for war
a time to forgive and a time to settle the score
a time for babies to lose their lives
a time for hunger and genocide
this too shall be made right

I don’t know the suffering of people outside my front door
I join the oppressors of those who i choose to ignore
I’m trading comfort for human life
and that’s not just murder it’s suicide
this too shall be made right

when i am confronted by the reality that this world is ripped at the seams, that we have ultimately failed, i can't help but wonder if it's just fantasy to hope and dream for a mending; to believe that everything will come 'round in the end of it all. but such disillusionment is my own human short-coming, for it is precisely because of my dissatisfaction with the state of creation that i know beyond any doubt that there is more to this than what we see here.

c.s. lewis puts it best, "the christian says, 'creatures are not born with desires unless satisfaction for those desires exists. a baby feels hunger: well, there is such a thing as food. a duckling wants to swim: well, there is such a thing as water. men feel sexual desire: well, there is such a thing as sex. if i find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probably explanation is that i was made for another world. if none of my earthly pleasures satisfy it, that does not prove that the universe is a fraud. probably earthly pleasures were never meant to satisfy it, but only to arouse it, to suggest the real thing.'"

my friends this world can never meet our deepest needs, no matter how hard we try to make it. all of our happiest moments are nothing more than glimpses into the life we were meant to have before the fall; this shadow of an existence is merely a hint at the reality of heaven, the reality of a perfect life with our Father, and if we would only embrace this notion and truly believe that God will make everything right one day, that we aren't foolishly chasing some unattainable illusion, then we can begin to live a life unfettered by our insecurities and released from the weight of this broken world. it was the eloquent julian of norwich who said, "all will be well, and all will be well, and all will be well." i'm finally starting to believe it.

(check out derek's new album at derekwebb.com)

farris

i just picked up a new cd by a relative unknown named mike farris. he describes this project as a "traveling tent revival," and when you hear the sound you'll understand what that means.

check out his website to read his amazing story and to sample some of his great tunes.

update

...an interesting development with the situation in burma.
time news feed.
continue to pray for these people literally trapped in this country.

myanmar

please pray for the nation of myanmar.





this country (formerly called burma) has been a hot bed of chaos for the past few hundred years, but just in the last several months, protesters have rallied against the corrupt government to try and force, among other changes, a democratic nation. new york times reports that the protesters have "also called for the release of all political detainees, including daw aung san suu kyi, the pro-democracy leader who has been held under house arrest for 12 of the last 18 years." yesterday, 9/27, the government's military forces opened fire on protesters in the streets of yangon as well as inside of a number of monasteries. the times also reports, "the violence of the past two days has answered the question of whether the military would fire on buddhist monks, the highly revered moral core of burmese society. for the past 10 days, the monks have led demonstrations that grew to as many as 100,000 before the crackdown began." the number of dead and injured cannot be accurately calculated at this time as many of the journalists covering the conflict have also come under attack. one japanese reporter was shot while photographing a street raid, continued taking pictures while lying on the ground, and died a short time later. other reports from the monasteries indicate that government forces entered the buddhist temples where a number of monks were beaten and between 70 and 150 more arrested. all told it is estimated that nine demonstrators were killed in a singular attack yesterday while 11 more were wounded.

belief

this message from brennan manning (one of my favorite writers) opens up some deep wounds of mine. it certainly is not intended to call anyone out for their faith issues or individual christian perspective, in fact, that is nearly antithetical to the entire premise for his statements; it is, rather, a simple request to look inwardly at yourself in order to discover the honest truth about what you believe about God. for me, this is very difficult, because, to be perfectly honest, i have a difficult time believing that i am loved by God and that my life means so much to Him. this may sound off-kilter to many, but i'm sure that if you asked yourself candidly whether or not you believe that God loves you, that you mean something to Him, that He cherishes you, you might find yourself in a similar predicament as i.

it is easier to think that we have no place, no identity; that we are faceless servants in a hoard of others running about seeking purpose (at least it is for me), than to trust that we are loved unconditionally. i would rack my brain trying to come up with some reason for which God would need me, and the plain and simple answer is that He doesn't. i've heard an extension on the analogy that God left in us a space only He could fill: that we fill a space in God only meant for us. i do not think that is the appropriate way to go about this, for if God needed something from us, if we met some need in Him, then He simply wouldn't be the all-powerful God of the universe (read a.w. tozer for further insight into this particular idea). so at what conclusion, then, can we arrive? if God doesn't need us, but loves us so much and has such value for each one of us that He gave His very own life so that we might live, the only possible resolution i can find is that He wants us. He chooses us.

it is far more difficult, a much bigger leap of faith, to believe that this kind of love exists, and to be honest once again, i'm not altogether sure i'm there yet. it will take a great deal more time spent wrestling with God to discover just what my true identity is as result of His powerful love; that is where our identity truly comes from: the love of our Father. do you believe that He loves you?

fall ball

three games up with six left to play, my beloved cubbies are playing their best baseball of the season and are in good position to make a serious play-off run. wrigley has already taken on a post-season atmosphere, and more than any other team in the league, the cubs can say that they are feeding off of their fans' enthusiasm. this season, the franchise set a ball-park record in attendance, not only for wrigley field, but for every single other athletic venue in the city of chicago; more than the bears, bulls, blackhawks, white sox.....ever. 3,252,462 in attendance on the season and counting. after 99 long years, let's see this thing through.

GO CUBS!

temperance

fun title, huh.

have you ever had a subject that you weren't necessarily thinking about just keep presenting itself in random places? well that's what has been going on with me, and unfortunately the subject just had to be temperance, which is kind of ironic if you think about it. so in an effort to exercises the demons, so-to-speak, i'll just write about it a little.

some months ago when i was still living in iowa city a good friend of mine was telling me that he and his family had had quite a heated discussion about drinking alcohol and whether it was right for a christian to do so. now, i will enjoy a drink now and then; i like the taste of good wine properly paired with food, it's nice to have a beer while enjoying music or a game with some friends at a pub, so my response to my friend's debate with his family was more a matter of justifying my own actions than a straight-up biblical rationale (which does exist, and i'll get to it in a moment).

i had, quite frankly, put the matter out my mind until recently when the subject of temperance ran itself out in front of my road once again. during a good discussion at 'journey,' the college/young adult ministry i lead worship for, we were discussing the nature of sin while we read 1 john 1 (a chunk of scripture that speaks candidly about sin among those who believe in Christ), and as all those who attend this ministry are in their college years, the idea that drinking alcohol somehow doesn't coincide with being a christian was one of the first, among many, of legalistic issues raised. i provided the same stock responses as before when i spoke with my friend months ago: "romans 14:22 says, 'the faith which you have, have as your own conviction before God. happy is he who does not condemn himself in what he approves.'" that drinking in moderation is fine, et cetera, et cetera. and i preceded to put it out of my mind.

God doesn't seem to be done addressing this issue with me.

today, as i was reading in c.s. lewis's 'mere christianity,' i came across the chapter dealing with the cardinal virtues, one of which is temperance, and lewis was careful when writing this to note that temperance did not always carry the meaning it does now: that one is not to drink, but rather translated itself "to all pleasures..." he goes on to say that "one great piece of mischief has been done by the modern restriction of the word 'temperance' to the question of drink. it helps people forget that you can be just as intemperate about lots of other things. a man who makes his golf or his motor-bicycle the center of his life, or a woman who devotes all her thoughts to clothes or bridge or her dog, is being just as 'intemperate' as someone who gets drunk every evening." obviously there's more going on here than just whether or not one should have a drink every once in a while; in fact, drinking is barely a significant part of this issue.

isn't it very interesting how we are so easily distracted by one vice and place all our emphasis on it as being particularly nasty (i don't really need to list what those commonly thought-of hot-seat discussions are) while at the same time completely ignore the others that completely consume our lives? almost as if we say that as long as we don't fall prey to alcohol or drugs or anything else this culture has labeled unsavory, then we're perfectly free to pursue other vices because they just 'aren't as bad.' as lewis states, anything we place at the center of our lives instead of God is sin, which directly corresponds to the message of the Word.

'if we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us' (1 jn. 1:8) means all sin, not just those we have placed at the top of our own established hierarchy.

rhythm 'n roots

this past weekend i was fortunate enough to experience the 7th annual rhythm & roots bluegrass festival here in bristol. coming from the midwest where bluegrass is scarcely found, i had little idea of what to expect, but i was pleasantly surprised. this event was wonderfully organized and offered an eclectic sampling of all that the bluegrass genre has in its arsenal; yes, you heard me correctly: i used the words 'bluegrass' and 'eclectic' in the same sentence...i was shocked too. but if you look hard enough and find yourself at festivals such as this one, then you're bound to run into something you didn't expect. twelve stages and approximately fifty bands all along historic state street (the place where rca first recorded country music), with all the vendors and colorful people you would expect, comprised this past weekend in downtown bristol.


but as we all know, it's really about the music, and this event didn't disappoint. bluegrass has apparently been redefined over the years to the end of producing some truly unique sounds that popular music will never be able to accomplish, and believe me, it's a tragedy that most of these band will go unheard-of by a majority of radio listeners. here are a few of the concert highlights i found from this past weekend (their band names are links the their websites).

the carolina chocolate drops

with a sound that belongs to the deepest south, this trio of african-american string players blends the beginnings of soul, gospel, and blues to bring back a sound that simply can't be heard anymore. they make their way through the midwest, so be sure to check them out some time.

the everybodyfields

a good way to get yourself recognized is to take something old and make it new; this band is gaining recognition for doing just that. a quartet from the tennessee area , the everybodyfields draws influence from country, rock, and blues to paint sounds that make you sit and pay attention; not only that, but their powerfully morose and doleful lyrics pull you in until you're completely lost in the experience of listening. they have a new cd just out called 'nothing is okay' with the picture of an upside down cartoon rainbow on the cover...enough said.

the wiyos

ragtime vaudeville is back! that's right, you heard me...there is a place in music still for the vaudevillian sideshow and this trio proves it. if i had only heard this one band all weekend, it would have been enough. a certain crowd favorite (for good reason), the wiyos provide non-stop entertainment with their shtick and banter while backing it up with the most amazing musicianship i heard throughout the entire event. tight rhythms and even tighter three-part harmonies, wonderfully nuanced compositions (some traditional tunes but many of their own), and a condensed sound that seems it should be coming from an old victrola; top it all off with a washboard, harmonica, kazoo, megaphone, etc. (played by a musician who actually knows how to play each of those instruments) and you'll start to have some idea of what this group offers.

of course i didn't have time enough to sample every band there, which, in my opinion, is a good thing; there really was something for every one; a sonorous taste for every musical palate. kudos to each band that participated in keeping the spirit of bluegrass alive. i can't wait for next year's event.

journey

just wanted to put up a quick post on a huge blessing God has granted me.

so i've been in bristol, tn now for about two months now (time flies) and i have been seeking the Lord's guidance about where to invest myself outside of the campus of king college. as i have mentioned in a previous post, i have quite a bit of worship leading experience by now and was hoping to find something along those lines; God led me to just that.

for the past couple of years, bristol and the surrounding areas has played host to a college and young adult ministry called 'journey.' this ministry, started by matt chambers, has grown such that they are now holding several meetings a week in various coffee shops around the area, one being in bristol. i met matt about a month ago at a dinner he and his wife hosted for the res. life staff at king. we talked for awhile and he invited me to help out with 'journey' for the coming semester. this last sunday was the first small meeting and it was fantastic. very intimate, very worshipful; i felt so blessed to meet with God with those people. i got to 'lead' worship, in as much as one could call it leading. there was no technology, no lyrics to follow; just a guitar and everyone singing and praying and seeking the Lord together. God has big things planned for this area and it is my constant prayer that i can play a part.

check out the link to 'journey' to the right to find out more!

fuel

ha!
i made it an entire month without posting anything. my bad.

things here have been pretty crazy with this new job. all the students moved back into the building and classes are well underway. my job is in full swing with all the problems of a college residence hall, but at the same time i'm finding myself having a lot of fun here. along with being a resident director, i have a secondary title as the coordinator of intramurals, so monday night we started all that off with intramural indoor soccer...tons of fun. on day two (yesterday) i had a participant get injured, which is not the best way to start one's job i realize, but i think we'll be okay.

in all this craziness of life transitions (getting engaged, graduating college, moving away, starting a new job, etc.), i'm noticing some interesting things happening to me (other than that i don't have a lot of time to post on this blog). i've been re-reading c.s. lewis's 'mere christianity' and something he wrote in one of the earlier chapters hit me hard: "God made us: invented us as a man invents an engine. a car is made to run on petrol, and it would not run properly on anything else. now God designed the human machine to run on Himself. He Himself is the fuel our spirits were designed to burn, or the food our spirits were designed to feed on. there is no other."

and while this illustration may not be as poetic as the kantian 'God-shaped hole,' it does help me better come up with a personal analogy: i have run out of gas.

it seems that when our lives are the subjects of extreme change, when life gets the hardest, when we should be looking to the greatest Power in the universe for strength, we don't; we look to ourselves to get us through. it's a mystery i have never been able to figure out, but i have been relying on myself and others more than on God, burning a fuel that will not propel my self the way in which God desires; i need to refuel.

bundy

i've been meaning to post on this guy for some time now. while i was in san diego PROPOSING TO KATIE...we attended her church (north coast calvary chapel) and heard trace bundy, an acoustic guitarist who was playing as a guest musician. trace is a touring soloist from colorado who has a few cd's out and does shows primarily out west. he is an incredible talent and a very humble individual; if you like what you hear, check out his website here and support him!

tennessee

hey ya'll!!

so i've moved to bristol, tennessee to be a resident director at king college...i know...random, right!? i left iowa city at 9pm on friday the 20th and arrived in bristol at 2:30pm on the 21st! long, long, long drive straight through, but good to finally get here. anyway, i'll definitely be posting more about this as my job gets going and whatnot, but here's a link to the college's website, and thanks to all of you who have been praying for me during the move.

ENGAGED!!!

that's right...you heard me...i am engaged to the most beautiful woman in all the world, kathleen elizabeth brannan. i spent this whole last weekend in san diego, california visiting her as she has been there for the past four months working on a music therapy internship.

so even though katie tells all our stories way better than i do, here's how i did it:

i'll start by setting this up a little. about a week before i was to go out there, katie and i were talking about marriage (as be so often do), and she let it slip that she more-or-less expected me to propose when i got there. i wanted this to be a surprise, of course, so i did a great job at convincing her that i was going to stick to our original agreement and not propose until her internship was over at the end of september. it must have worked because she didn't see a thing coming.

i flew in to san diego on friday the 13th and katie picked me up at the airport around noon. now, i had been travelling since 3am, so i was understandably a bit tired, but since katie knows me so well, she immediately picked up on something that was a bit off with me; i was a little less talkative, or something...i don't know. the plan was for us to spend our first evening there having a picnic on the beach at sunset (something i suggested to her several months ago), so we got our food and headed out. since our one-year dating anniversary happens to be today, i had the perfect excuse for presenting her with an anniversary present once we arrived at the beach...she still expected nothing.

her "present" consisted of five small candles in individual tins with lids; each lid was numbered 1-5 so she would open them in order. on the inside of each lid was one word in a phrase for her to read sequentially; all put together it said: "i will love you forever." now, we had agreed that we wouldn't tell each other that we loved one another until we were engaged, so when she opened the third candle, the one that said "love," she started to figure it out. i opened the fifth candle which had the ring in it, and under the sunset on the beach i asked her to marry me. i can't describe how overjoyed i am to have such an amazing woman in my life; to get to tell her everyday how much she means to me and how much i love her (i still get giddy to say that i love her :-).

the pictures were taken by a nice older couple who happened to be walking on the beach while we were there. i jumped up and asked if they would take our picture. the lady was so nice, she asked if she could take a bunch, and they turned out great.

so that's the deal; i'm in love and couldn't feel more blessed. what an amazing thing to be shown love in this way. i cannot wait to see all the things God is going to do through me and katie.

constant nourishment

i've been struggling lately with God's love for me and the grace that comes from it. i know it sounds ridiculous to be conflicted by something as absolutely wonderful as love, but God's love is something different; it is more wonderful than can be described, but it also might be the most impossible, impractical thing in existence. God's love is not only difficult to understand, it is down-right crazy.

i think the source of my wondering comes from my inability to come to terms with the way His love and its extensions have come to be labeled. one of the more common labels i've heard is "satisfactory," which certainly is biblical:

in second corinthians, paul, battling weakness, cries out to God for relief, and the response he receives from the Lord is, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness" (12:9). i have always loved this verse because it speaks to me in my weakness (which is immense), but i have to keep wondering: why the word "sufficient?" that word carries with it some disappointing implications for me; sort of a way of saying, "well eli, now that you've tried everything else, be satisfied with this."

in first timothy, paul again writes, "...you will be a good servant of Christ Jesus, constantly nourished on the words of the faith and of the sound doctrine which you have been following" (4:6). now that's more like it! this is how i want to see His love. i want Christ to be the very thing that keeps me alive; for His love and grace to be my constant nourishment; for me to yearn for Him; hunger for Him. i don't want to merely be satisfied by His love, i want to be sustained by it.

so again i'll ask: why the word "sufficient?"

why do God's words in second corinthians speak to me so? as always, the source of my problem lies not with God, but with me. how often is it that the last place i go to to find sustenance is God? how often do i look everywhere else for satisfaction before looking to God? how can i expect to view God's love as sustaining when i treat it as my last resort?

but as always, God, in His infinite love, picks me up and tells me it is exactly my weakness that He wants; that when i am weak, His strength is evident in me. so, while i remain disappointed in myself for being so weak, and still confounded by the most amazing love that will ever be known, it is the greatest thing of all that God's love transcends everything to remain my eternal sustenance and the very thing that keeps me alive.

last day

i mentioned in my welcome for this blog that i have been serving as a musician for parkview church in iowa city, iowa for about seven years, but this morning was my very last time playing for weekend services. in a little less than two weeks i'll be making the move from iowa city to bristol, tennessee to start my new job. i've played everything from trombone to mandolin at parkview, and this past year i was fortunate enough to come on staff to lead worship and coordinate some events and projects. i am forever grateful to have had this opportunity to work with so many amazing people in an environment saturated with worship for our King.

the nature of worship is an interesting thing. in our culture we have come to adopt music as a kind of 'flagship' for worshiping God; that singing and playing instruments take center stage (no pun intended) when it comes to this idea of praise. and while i love music to no end and will hopefully be able to make it part of my daily worship to God for the rest of my life, it can't be the only thing we offer to Him.

romans 12:1 says, "therefore i urge you, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service to worship."

what this prompts me to conclude is that while we remain here on earth, anything we offer God as an act of worship will be incomplete. whether it's our songs, our time, our money, whatever, when He commands our whole selves, all of who we are, we are incapable of giving it. but it certainly isn't what we don't offer that matters...let me say that a different way: what God cares about is what we do give Him.

a.w. tozer, in his book knowledge of the holy, writes a lot about God's "complete love." the love our Father has for us is eternally complete and holy...meaning that if we spent our entire lives living contrary to His will, He would never love us any less; and if we spent our entire lives constantly praising Him, He wouldn't love us anymore than He already does. isn't that incredible!? what that says to me is that my worship to God, in whatever form, exists only for Him, not for me. what an amazing God we serve.

all that being said, it's pretty obvious that i'm going to miss serving at parkview, but my worship to God will, by God's grace alone, remain the product of my whole life lived each day; that's all i have to give. thank God He loves our humble offerings.

backstory

i wanted to take some time and explain the title of this blog and why i chose this name.

some of you, i'm sure, have read the book velvet elvis, by rob bell. if you haven't, i strongly suggest you pick it up. there has been a lot of talk about this book since it was published a couple of years ago; some good, some bad, a lot misunderstood, but for my part, it has been a book that changed the way i view my relationship with God. the approach he takes in relating very historical information to our lives as christians today makes for compelling insight into who we are and what we were meant to be. let me explain...

in the fifth "movement" (chapter) of this book, bell takes considerable time illustrating the traditional jewish practice of discipleship. for me that word had only christian implications: the twelve disciples of Jesus, but the practice of having disciples was common for every rabbi at the time of Christ. yes, Jesus was a jewish rabbi; He was indeed a jew, and He was indeed a teacher. much like the twelve disciple of Jesus, other disciples of other rabbis would follow their teacher day and night wanting for their very lives to become like that of their master's. from this, a common admonition would be offered to disciples of that day, and it is here i will begin quoting from chapter five...

"'cover yourself with the dust of [your rabbi's] feet.' this idea of being covered in the dust of your rabbi came from something everybody had seen. a rabbi would come to town, and right behind him would be this group of students, doing their best to keep up with the rabbi as he went about teaching his yoke (his theology) from one place to another. by the end of a day of walking in the dirt directly behind their rabbi, the students would have the dust from his feet all over them.
and that was a good thing."

what a beautiful image of the way we are called to follow our master. in matthew 16:24-25 Christ says, "if anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me. for whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it." if i am truly to be a disciple of Christ, i must follow Him everywhere and do everything He did; that is the definition of discipleship, pure and simple. for, "a disciple is not above his teacher, nor a slave above his master. it is enough for the disciple that he become like his teacher, and the slave like his master" (matt. 10:24-25).

but the call to be a disciple of Christ is something out of the ordinary for the world, because Christ's actions while He was here were entirely out of the ordinary. following Christ was never meant to be a "clean" affair. Jesus was beaten and killed to save the world; if i am to be His disciple, and to be a disciple is to be like my master, then i must literally offer my life to God, whatever the cost. do we do this today? do we take seriously the call to take up our crosses and follow Him? because many of those who followed Jesus Christ on this earth did die for their faith and for preaching His gospel to the lost; many today are being killed for their faith in God through Jesus. (if you don't believe me, check out the link to christian solidarity to the right).

what would it look like if christians really did start taking up their crosses? what would it look like if we gave everything to God, including our lives? is it really that outrageous a claim? what do we have that is ours anyway? everything i have is from the Lord, and my soul has been bought with His blood on the cross. who am i to deny God what He rightly owns?

francis of assisi wrote,
"keep a clear eye toward life's end. do not forget your purpose and destiny as God's creature. what you are in His sight is what you are and nothing more. remember that when you leave this earth, you can take with you nothing that you have received - fading symbols of honor, trappings of power - but only what you have given: a full heart enriched by honest service, love, sacrifice, and courage."

discipleship to Christ can no longer be something important for us, it must be the only thing about us. "Lord, let me no longer live a life of rebellion to You; instead let me find myself a slave to you, free in your captivity, and satisfied only by Your everlasting love. amen."

welcome...

hello and welcome to this blog. i've managed to avoid this medium long enough, but with my impending move i felt it appropriate to offer the opportunity for those who wish to keep track of what i'm up to. shortly i will be relocating to tennessee to start a job with king college as a residence director in their residence life department, but my long term goals and passions lie elsewhere...
it is my dream, my desire, my pursuit to serve God where ever i am, and one day i would like that to be overseas as a long-term missionary. but for now, my service to Him is with king college. i will be starting a missions fellowship for students there as well as leading music and worship, something i have been doing at parkview evangelical free church in iowa city, iowa for the past several years.
but this blog won't merely contain information about what i'm doing; Lord knows that's not very exciting. it will contain thoughts, perceptions, and dreams for a broken world based on the hope that Christ can change things...He can change things. what He is doing will always be more interesting anyway!
enjoy.